So for the past week or so, my husband and I have been feeling pretty ill. It wasn’t the Corona, which I’m very grateful for, but whatever kind of virus it was really knocked us both out.
Because I spent most of the week lying down with a migraine, moaning about feeling rubbish and generally being tired, I didn’t get a good amount of stuff done, which was really disappointing.
And from disappointment, came something we all dread… burnout!
Around the time of my last post, I’d been making a lot of progress with my language challenge, (reaching 600 words!) and with the plot of my new story, and I was excited to keep going, like, really excited. But the day after that, all of a sudden my eyes began to hurt, my vision got all slow, and the next thing I knew, I was asleep!
I stayed like that for a few more days, sort of drowzy all the time, with a bad migraine, and aching eyeballs. I thought that doing some of my writing stuff might cheer me up, since I wasn’t fit enough to do anything physical, like gardening. (even though it was sunny for once, teasing me…)
But every time I tried to think about an idea, or a character, or a scene, the picture just wouldn’t form in my head, and anything I did manage to see just fizzled away immediately. It seems like tiredness definitely affects the mind as well as the body, which is very unfortunate!
So after moping around for a few days, I started to recover a bit, but I still wasn’t getting in the right mood to write, and I didn’t know why.
There’s no ailment I hate more than tiredness. I really like to keep busy, physically and mentally, even if it’s something relaxing or leisurely. (I’m allergic to silence and quiet, after all) So when I’m fatigued and can’t do much, I feel really antsy to do something with my mind at least, like playing along with a quiz show, or playing a video game or something. But when I’m so tired, that I can’t even focus on a mental activity, it just feels bad.
I think tiredness frustrates me so much because it makes me feel like I’ve wasted so much time. At least if I had a sore throat or a cold, I could still do stuff, even if I was a bit miserable during it!
My displeasure at being fatigued probably made me overreact a bit, and I started to panic, thinking I’d lost my inspiration, or that I’d never be able to finish my ideas, or that I’d lost the ability to visualise things.
In reality, I know that’s a bit of an exaggeration, but being in the wrong mood can really mess with you! And of course, the over-worrying makes your mood worse, which makes you worry more, and then you’re stuck in a loop of bad feelings.
This post has turned into a bit of a ramble, but I think the main point of it is, tiredness sucks!
I don’t want to make it too downbeat though, I like to try and do positive posts for the most part, (at least, I hope so!) so I will say, it’s not been all bad this week!
After I started to get a bit better, I didn’t manage to get any actual book writing done, but I did manage to do a bit of lore. I came up with a few plants, such as a mossy cactus that was the inspiration for needles, or a plant that provides ink stored within its berries.
I haven’t done the full illustrations yet, but I made some facts about them, and some little doodles, which is better than nothing!
Apart from that, I started drawing again, partly as an experiment, to see if I could sell them. I’m not sure if the picture will turn out well enough to sell, but we’ll see!
Finally, I can feel a little bit of my writing vibes coming back, and though I’m still slightly sleepy, I can visualise scenes again, and I’m reassured that no, I haven’t lost my love for writing. (I’m just a chronic over-worrier!)
So, although I’m no expert, the next time you feel burned out, don’t do what I do, don’t panic or punish yourself! Try to be kind to yourself about it, even though that’s easier said than done. Thank you for reading!
So for this week’s photo prompt, I have a picture of a strange, tiny caterpillar I found on the wall near my front door. I have no idea what kind he is, and I couldn’t find a similar picture online, which was interesting!
Breaking your creative habits,
Understandably can be scary.
Ruminating about it though,
Never usually helps.
Our minds need us to be nice to them,
Understanding of their foibles.
Taking time off is ok.